Really your friend?

I have been going through some pretty heavy stuff lately. I have one person who remains my sturdy shoulder and without him I am sure I would have not got through what I have so far. I thought about maybe contacting my past bestfriend, one I have known since I was around sixteen years old who had been through alot with me and then out of nowhere she messages me online. I was real excited to be talking with her even if it was for a moment and she was talkative at first then became less and less interested in the conversation. I mentioned about my significants current treatments for cancer which she had already been aware of in past conversations. She asked me how he was doing and I began to tell her expressing how very emotional all of this has been lately. She quickly became more quiet and shortly after dismissed herself for the evening. I am not faulting her for having a life outside mine but it really bothered me that I only have one real friend that I can cry until I cannot cry anymore with. I make good friends and I try to be as great friend to other people so the fact I feel this alone makes me wonder how many of these people really give a shit about me if any? Or are people just becoming less and less worthful?

What is a Juggalo?

I have been reading for awhile as to what other people believe a Juggalo is and I decided to share my personal opinon on the subject. When I first started listening to ICP and the rest of the pyschopathic crew I was around fifteen. My friend Jared had stuck in the Ringmaster cd and I was hooked. I wanted it, I wanted to hear more. I listened to every song from Carnival of Carnage over and over, so much that my mom was ready to chuck my cds into the trash.Then came Riddle Box & The Great Milenko. This wasn’t even counting some of the older stuff I was buying, the wrestling or the music from groups like Twiztid. I started figuring out the message at least my message I was getting from ever CD. I have always said that if Violent J had not made it as a rapper he would of been a helluva preacher. They were talking about loving each other like family & ultimately banishing evil. They talked about how the carnival was god, how some listeners wouldn’t listen if they weren’t getting the message from a dark place verses a light one. They didn’t like pedophiles, people who liked to hurt animals, racists or stuck up richies. They also are not fans of homosexuality which I am not going to even get into. If you have ever actually heard ICP before Bang Pow Boom you already know this anyways. To this day there are songs that bring out some of the best emotions in me even from the new cd Bang Pow Boom. I was not living in a very populated town growing up and being a Juggalo was not something you were out loud. People did not understand it and considering I was by myself as one it lead to alot of confrontations. They weren’t played on MTV and the internet was not quite as necessary then as it is now so getting to see their videos and such was rare. I started watching things progress over the years with the Juggalo community. People have created Juggalo churches even. I have watched the scrub music I fell in love with be exploited by people who to me don’t understand the real message. It was never about money in the beginning or anything mainstream. I have seen people create “looks” and “stereotypes” and claim this is what a Juggalo is. The bands have no real choice when it comes to these things. It’s either follow it and agree with it or loose their fan base in certain aspects. Females with fake braided extensions in their hair, Furry Leg warmers, little goth skirts? Rave paint…yeah. People who are now illiterate who use words like “wit” and “mah”. I think a Juggalo is not about what you look like at all and that is where people have dropped the ball. Juggalos weren’t suppose to be rich. They wouldn’t of been able to even entertain the ideal of dressing in some of these fad like outfits. When you don’t even have shoe strings in your shoes buying something like dread falls seems a little ridiculous. Anyone else who had noticed these things dare not say anything for fear of being called a hater. I have seen some of these people who claim to be Juggalos seriously ignore other Juggalos because of the clothes that they are NOT wearing. These people ignore Juggalos because not everyone can afford to have a Bella Morte ringtone on their new blackberry, some of us don’t have a blackberry…or even a real hatchetman charm…I have noticed how naked and I do mean naked some of the younger females of the community are. Eleven year old girls wearing less then a bikini screaming “fuck off” with their preteen boobs popping out their tops…yeah. I have known “Juggalos” on places like Myspace and Facebook to ignore and deny friend request from “unknown” Juggalos. I have seen the same kind of “Juggalos” ignore other Juggalos because of what they look like, as if because they won the popularity contest on places like Myspace it makes them more a Juggalo? The whole scene has became something that I think is pretty sad. Campy…Any old school Juggalo will agree with most of this I think if not all of it. I have known of Juggalos who were here when it started that are now turning their backs on it all because of what it has became. They are embarassed to be grouped with individuals who are the opposite of what they believe to be a Juggalo. I had a girl tell me once she didn’t have to love ALL of her Juggalo family because most of them are stupid… I myself don’t really much care anymore. I think if your a real Juggalo what you look like or how you talk doesn’t matter but expecting it to be the blueprints for all Juggalos is stupid. I am not saying that Juggalos have to think like me to be real either but I do think people are allowing a few individuals to be the examples of what a Juggalo is and thats wrong to me. I am a Juggalo and I love all my family. You can take my opinion however but before you judge me know that I may not be the authority on this matter but neither are you.

This Blog

I was reading about the TOS for WordPress and apparently you are not allowed to share referral links or make any money from your own blog with sites like linkbucks. Are you effin kidding me? Well that doesn’t quite make it my blog now does it? Thank god I have several blogspots that aren’t this anal.

Protected: Things people say to me & whats eating me

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

The people we know who like to hurt

Have you ever noticed how some people are just built to hurt others? Seem the people that hurt us the most are family which is not uncommon but what when it is someone you loves family? Like a boy or girl friend? What happens when their family goes out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable or unwanted? Something to think on.

Your Online resume

Emurse
This is a good spot to post your online resume.

One of my favorites…I mean cmon Twiztid dressed up? No doubt

Wasn’t ready for this

I have realized how much your life changes sometimes right in front of you. So much that your standing there going whoa! I wasn’t ready for this! Now I understand the phrase “If I knew now what I knew then”

No shit.

Just fed up

Is there ever any reward for what we believe to be as good work? My friend told me that work is only rewarded by more work…that is a little depressing. I have been pondering this and decided that “work” can be a lot of things…sometimes I think it would be great to suck at my “job”.

Am I being envious?

I have noticed people I grew up with lately seeming to have a fairly good hold on their lives unlike myself. I know they say that looks can be decieving but they do seem alot better off them me. I have no family or good job(any job), I have no house of my own or decent car. I guess I wouldn’t noticed these things if these people were “upstanding”. Instead they are really scummy in my opinion yet it seems they have recieved alot of breaks in life. Does that make me envious or observant?

Just recently

My bestfriend & mate has been being treated for Lung cancer over the pass months, probably since last April. We have had unstopping ups and downs which seems to be neverending. During this I have lost my step brother Mark to liver cancer and my aunt  was diagnosed with breast cancer while her husband was diagnosed with prostate/lung cancer. I also found out the other week that my grandfather has Melanoma which is something he has refused to be treated further for. I am a little lost lately as to how I am suppose to feel about things. I do not have alot of natural supports where I am living. I rely alot on contacting friends and family via internet and phone to keep myself rounded. I even have turned to the bible for something that resembles guidance and I really am not sure what to think or feel at the moment.

This picture is awesome

The world’s tallest man, 8-foot-1-inch Sultan Kosen, met the world’s shortest man, 2-foot-5-inch He Pingping.

Commit Suicide

If youd like to completely erase your account on specific profile networking sites check out this link now.

A Women

A WOMEN By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?” And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.” The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands!”? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish. But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.” The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.” “She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish. “Will she be able to think?” asked the angel. The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.” The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.” “That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!” “What’s the tear for?” the angel asked. The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.” The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.” And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends Women have vital things to say and everything to give……. HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

So I guess I am healthy

I visited my mom just recently and giving the fact she is a nurse I was able to squeeze in a late yearly physical with her doctors office. My blood pressure was normal as was my tempature, heart rate (I stopped smoking in August) and a few other things I had looked into. The doctor openly told me she believed I was under alot of stress (duh) and that she suggested a vacation (lol) I also had a pap smear while there which was owwie considering it had been awhile since my last. The doctor told me everything looked great and felt great even as I had no lumps or irregularities. I called my mother this morning to learn of the complete results of the test and apparently I am healthy. No cancer cells, no HPV, no STDS or VD (I wasn’t concerned about that anyways) and besides my past complications I also am fully capable of being a mother again. Very cool. So now I just need a little tune up in other areas and I am good to go. Yay to the healthy Poonanny!!

Online job search sites

Work Tree

http://www.rileyguide.com/
http://www.employeebuddy.com/
http://www.careeronestop.org/
http://www.careervoyages.gov/

Snag a Job
Beyond.com
CareerBuilder.com
Execu|Search.com
Hound.com
Indeed.com
JobCentral.com
JobServe.com
Jobster.com
LinkedIn.com
Monster.com
Oodle.com
onTargetjobs.com
SimplyHired.com
TheLadders.com
Trovix.com
TweetMyJobs.com
USAJobs.com
dice.com
YahooHotJobs.com
http://www.americasjobexchange.com/
http://www.indeed.com/
http://www.simplyhired.com/http://www.rileyguide.com/
http://www.employeebuddy.com/
http://www.careeronestop.org/
http://www.careervoyages.gov/

Wanted to share this site

Ifyou are looking for a great spot online  to get some great quotes on auto insurance I have the site for you. The site is called Automobile Insurance Me and I suggest it to anyone looking for cheap and affordable rates on car insurance. By using the site and filling out the simple form on their Quotes page you can get multiple car insurance quotes from companies in your state.

Their site is super informative and even has information on how to still obtain insurance when you have things like a bad driving record. I encourage anyone who is looking for a great spot to get quotes online to try this site. I will include the link here so you can go and check it outfor yourself. Click this link for more information.

Happy Halloween From Me

My favorite holiday even though my father had a heart attack when I was a teenager on Halloween and died the7th of November I still love it

Isnt he beautiful

I came across the picture of the spider and had to share him. I included the link to the article about him.

Spider

 

White Lions how awesome

http://planetoddity.com/white-lions-of-south-africa/