I haven’t smoked in a few days..trying to quit and it is starting to get to me. I have been sucking on blow pops and for some reason snacking more which isn’t making me feel much better. I recieved word yesterday from someone who was overly excited about a situation that honestly doesn’t concern me but they were about to burst to share it. Why do people act like I give a shit? Good for you, yay, whoo hoo! Sure when I am excited over something I love to share it but when I know specific people have more important shit on their plates I tend to be chilled out for their benefit no matter how excited I am. Then I remebered my birthday was right around the corner and that depressed me. Since living here away from my family noone really acknowledges my bday. Smartys family doesn’t, besides his mom noone ever says anything or even springs for a card. That irks me considering everyone elses bday seems to be like a replay of the 4th of July and mine hasn’t been noticed in years. Explaining my depression..
The fact everytime someone has a get together I am suppose to show up and I truely don’t want to is enough to piss anyone off though. I get the bullshit line from some people that they are family and its something we have to do. Thats where they are wrong. They are not MY family they are yours and I go for your sake not mine. Besides family usually recalls your birthday right? They would be my family if the plans that were made a few years back had ever been carried out. The leeches that live around us however have made it financially impossible at the moment to do anything. That is another thing that irks me. How people who sit around, complain and live off of others give the impression to people outside the situation that they are treated poorly. Bullshit. I wish someone would clean my house, do my laundry, mow my yard, do my dishes, wash my dog and do countless other things for nothing not even a thank you while I sit on my ass all day. My mother made a comment to me not to long ago that I did not move here to live with strangers but instead someone I know and I don’t have to work like a slave for my room and board. She stays puzzled how I never stop cleaning and how I am the only one who does when there is a fully capable adult female who lives with me. I tell her if someone did everything for you why would you leave the couch? She replied “good point”! I am really to the point of loosing my cool with everything and I do not care who I hurt in the process either. I get a mail today from someone else in Smarty’s family who doesn’t even know my real last name and used the fake one I use on facebook on the envelope…the same one I use so a bunch of assholes I knew in high school who never spoke to me then don’t try to speak to me now kinda last name. I mean cmon not even my last name? People truely have no clue how it feels when others completey disregard your feelings and don’t acknowledge that you are also indeed a person. This is my lesson in others and their self absorbed attitudes.
Just another crack in my path I say
I came across the picture of the spider and had to share him. I included the link to the article about him.
